- "If you don't want to be my right hand, my left would be just fine... Just kidding! Your existence is a problem for me and my religion. Defy me, and I'll end your pitiful game!"
- — Mr. Carpainter
Mr. Carpainter is a character and boss in EarthBound. He is the leader of the Happy Happyist cult, and the second owner of the Evil Mani Mani statue, after buying it from its discoverer, Lier X. Agerate. While under the influence of the statue, he believes that the key to happiness is to paint everything in the world blue, which he starts with Happy Happy Village. He makes Pokey Minch into his right hand man and orders him and a masked boy to kidnap Paula so she can become a high priestess, though Everdred claims that she was actually kidnapped to be a human sacrifice. He imprisons Paula in a cabin located in Peaceful Rest Valley.
He fights using a Crashing Boom Bang (PSI Thunder β), which gets deflected through the use of the Franklin Badge Paula gives Ness while in captivity. He can also deal damage using paint attacks, which inflict significantly more damage than those of the Insane Cultists. He is additionally able to shield and heal himself. If Ness attempts to confront him before obtaining the Franklin Badge from Paula, Carpainter's lightning makes Ness warp back to Happy Happy Village.
After he is defeated by Ness, he apologizes and says that ever since he got the Mani Mani statue, he had been doing weird things. He gives Ness the key to the cottage Paula is imprisoned in, and disbands the Happy Happyist cult.
- "Carpainter" can mean someone who paints cars, or be a portmanteau of the words "carpenter" and "paint".
- If his name does derive from carpenter, it may be a reference to Jesus, who was a carpenter.
- Mr. Carpainter's clay figure is a mirrored image of his battle sprite. The sprite holds the paintbrush in his right hand and points to it with his left, while the clay model holds the brush in his left hand and points to it with his right.
- Mr. Carpainter wears some sort of yarmulke on his head.
- For some reason, Mr. Carpainter's battle theme is Otherworldly Foe. This likely refers to him being under the control of the Mani Mani statue.
- Carpainter is vulnerable to PSI Fire and Freeze, even though he's fought before Paula joins, and therefore it's impossible to hit him with those vulnerabilities.
- On the sprite for Mr. Carpainter, he has what appears to be a gold piece on his chest, presumably the key to the cottage Paula is imprisoned in. On the clay model however, the gold piece or key is dark colored and hard to see.