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"Ayiiieee! I think it's a dung beetle. I'll smash your guts out."
— Lardna Minch

Lardna Minch (Japanese: ラードナー Lardner) is a character in EarthBound. She is the mother of Pokey and Picky Minch, and the wife of Aloysius Minch.

Because her husband Aloysius allegedly loaned a few hundred thousand dollars to Ness's Father (although Aloysius himself admits it could have been a lot less), and was never repaid, she and her family seem to hold a grudge against Ness and his family for this reason alone.

Early in the game, Lardna swats Buzz Buzz after mistaking him for a dung beetle, causing the alien to succumb to his wounds soon afterward. When her husband and Pokey leave, she has no clue as to how or why they did so. She decides to go shopping while they are gone and is nowhere to be seen until after Ness defeats Giygas and she is inside her home with Picky and Mr. Prettyman.

During the events of Mother 3, there are several robots designed in the likeness of Lardna Minch that work in the restaurant Beauty & Tasty in New Pork City.

Trivia

  • Even though she is not shown to have physically harmed her sons like her husband has, she's just as abusive, telling Ness that her husband goes too easy on them.
  • Two of the Beauty & Tasty robots that Lucas can speak to indirectly reference her meeting Buzz Buzz and her son Picky.
  • Lardna's name could refer to her obesity, as her name clearly has the word lard which is made out of pig fat. This is in line with the pig theme in Minches' names.
  • There is an unused line in Mother 3 where a character claims to be the producer for "Mr. Pirkle and Ms. Lardna's Love Nest"[1].
  • Cranky Lady, Extra Cranky Lady, and Bag Lady from EarthBound Beginnings use overworld sprites similar to her.

References

  1. Block 170 of Mother 3 text